On Friday 28th October, I had the privilege of attending the Doctors in Distress Bereavement Group at the Royal College of Psychiatrists. Our Chair, Dame Clare Gerada, and group analyst, Frances Griffiths, have been running these groups for over 4 years. It was at the Bereavement Group where Amandip first met Clare and encouraged her to become involved with Doctors in Distress and the work we do.
I found it so moving to meet those who had lost a loved one to suicide and who had all been medical professionals. There had been people participating in this group since its inception so clearly, this created shared, common ground for them – a warm and inclusive space.
It is hard to express how each person told their own story but with almost pulpable pain in the telling but also in those listening because they had each had a dreadful, similar experience. The bereavement group enables people to share their emotions or just to listen to others doing so. Each person seemed lighter at the end of half a day together as many had found ways to express their own grief and their continuing journey in trying to come to terms with their feelings.
I saw that even members of the group who had been there before continuing to find more information as they grapple with the ‘why’ to try to understand how this had happened to their loved one, the ‘why’ of their loneliness and despair.
Being in the group showed me once again just how powerful it is to talk about suicide, about mental illness, about stress and burn out. We know that no everyone is a talker but somehow each person found that the safety and the confidentiality of this group enabled them to continue to process their feelings.
I felt very privileged to be part of the group and very honoured that Doctors in Distress can provide a space like this. It is our duty to find ways to prevent a medic from feeling so alone as to take their own life.
If you know someone who is grieving as a result of the death by suicide of a medical professional, please tell them about Doctors in Distress. Please give them information about the charity and tell them about the bereavement group.
Get in touch at: contact@doctors-in-distress.org.uk
Ann Paul, CEO, Doctors in Distress